Distance Is Darkness

So I totally missed yesterday's post. I didn't get in till later and then I just... didn't do it. So this first part is for yesterday.

Wednesday 18th August

So the most important thing to say about this day is that is was Alice's birthday. I didn't see her, because she lives in Lanky-Lancaster (for tall people only) or elsewhere that is not here when she's not at Uni. But but but.... she's amazing and fantastic and has reached the ripe ol' age of 20 without achieving the loser's prize of death. (The winners get life. She's winning. She rolls a 6 every time) HUZZAH!!

Oh, you want to meet her? Sure you do, she's ace as a face in a place.

Sexy, eh?

She's actually much more attractive than this, I swear. She's a right hottie ;)

I mean, who DOESN'T want to know a girl that can do THIS:

Ooft! ;)

So, Wednesday... what did I do on Wednesday? 

OH YEAH.... Jane came! 

I was like a child on Christmas morning when I saw her. Leapt on her and kissed her all over her face. I was so excited, I bit her forehead XD

I've known Jane since these days. The goth days. Hilarious:

Weren't we sexy? 

Meet 16 year old me :D

And NOW look at her!

Least gothic person. EVER.

Except she still bums good music. 

"Deadbodyfuckdeadbodyfuck!"

Which is a song you should listen to, for pure comedy value.
Profanation- Dead Body Fuck (YouTube)

 Man, I miss my death metal days... :')

Aaaaaanyway, so Jane came through to our shitty town and we went for lunch. I had this chicken, mushroom & onion pizza. Which was AMAZING. Except, I hate mushrooms. Probably should have asked for it without those... anyway, after I'd picked them off... it was AMAZING :D

And tirimasu. Mmmm. Fucking tirimasu. I love it. I mean, LOOK at that shit!

fuckyeahtirimasu

So yeah, there was love and food and wonder. Jane and I tried to read the menus with one hand cos we were holding hands with the others. We wanted to be that super lame couple you see who eat with one hand too.... but it was going to be too messy. We couldn't commit.

Oh oh, and when we went back to Jenny's, we gave Jane her signed photo from Killswitch Engage. Howard even wrote 'I <3 Jane' on it.

She shit a brick.

I kid you not, she actually almost pissed herself. It was fucking incredible. I've never seen such joy on her face.... outside the bedroom.

I keed, I keed... I've never boned Jane. We planned to once, but it didn't really work out. Never say never though. Get enough drink in us and we'd get married in Vegas and adopt a one-legged puppy.

Jenny and I played Trivs, and gave up at three cheeses each. 

I now realise how little sense that makes if you don't know what Trivs is...

I'm not explaining.

AND, I introduced her to 'Mantracker'. That shit's amazing. Everyone should watch it. 

Basically, there's these two random people, and they're given a map and compass. Then they have to get from one place to another, in whatever route they like.

Sounds simple, yes?

But ohhhh no. They have to get there without being caught by Terry Grant- MANTRACKER!

He's like this expert tracker, and he basically hunts them down. It's amazing. They're all like shitting themselves and running llike fuck through the trees to try and escape. But wouldn't you run from this

I know what you're thinking: 'I wouldn't run from him, he's dead sexy'. 

Yeah, he's a hottie alright. Ooft :P

Terry goes on a horse, and the 'prey' (yes they call them that) go on foot. They get a head start, and can run through forests he can't ride through. But I've never, EVER seen anyone win.

Oh, Canadian reailty TV :')

I hope this haunts you all.

He's fucking BADASS

So that was about it for Wednesday. Ready for today? (Technically yesterday, cos it's 00:41 right now, but whatever)

Thursday 19th August

'Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak. Thankyou'

 I'm listening to Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone on audiobook. Cos I'm cool like that.

And it IS 'Philosopher's Stone'. None of this 'Sorceror' shit. Bloody Americanised version.

It sickens me.

I do, however, LOVE some of the words in International versions.

Here are a few of my favourites. Each accompanied by one of the first pictures Google images throws up for them. Whether they're relevant or not XD

Sprängstjärtsskrabbor

(Blast-Ended Skrewts - Swedish)

 

Halálfaló

(Death Eater - Hungarian)

 Geheugensteen

(Remembrall - Dutch)

Ohhhhh, that last one made me laugh. LOTR/HP crossover gags FTW :D

And now, all the boring shit about my day.

I started 'Get fit and get rich' today. That's what I'm calling my plan for the year.

Cycled 2 miles to work with my backpack full of clean laundry for Bernard. And cycled 2 miles back with my backpack full of dirty laundry.

It. fucking. hurt.

I borrowed my Mum's bike, and I can safely say it is the least comfortable thing I've ever sat on. My arse is actually bruised. I feel like Hagrid had his way with my peachy behind.

LMAO, look at his 'come to bed' eyes. HOT

But seriously, my bum is in SERIOUS pain. I have actual, physical bruises you can see. I could take a photo and show you, but I ain't gonna flash the gash online. I'm too lovely for such things ^-^

But I'm feeling good about this (the plan, not the bruises... Or the gash-flashing). 

I'm gonna get fit so I can run more than 100 metres without dying.

That's the plan, anyway. We'll see.

So I think that's all I had to say today. I'll end on a jolly note. Final thought are thus: Why the fuck do wizards need glasses? Yes, most of my 'final thoughts' are Potter-related. Cos I listen to my audiobooks as I write, usually :) I'm a geek that way.

EDIT

OMFG can't believe I forgot this!!

Best thing you'll ever see, hands down.

And Angie's a fucking star.

She sent it to me

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- literal trailer

Peace out, yo.

Eve x