Lexington (Joey Pea-Pot With A Monkey Face)

May the tirade of thoughts begin!

I hate hover mowers. I've said this earlier today on Twitter, but I feel it bears repeating. They don't fucking hover, you have to sort of lift as you shove, and those fuckers are HEAVY.

I hate when people can't format a fucking Word document properly. I mean, how hard is it to insert a new row in your table when you're talking about something new? Not very. I've never copied and pasted so much in my life than when I was fixing that fucker. 

Oh, I'm Eve by the way. You may or may not know me. If you don't, you soon will. 

I like cheese.

I like to bitch about things that piss me off.

I like to ramble about things that put me in a good mood.

I have opinions. They may change. Get over it. 

I fucking love Yorkshire Puddings. I had three with my dinnner today, and I was just like "Fuck yeah!"

I didn't have a beard though. Sadly. What a sexy fucker he is. Ooft.

I also love the word 'fuck'. I will use it all too often.

Oh, my Mum totally gave us Quorn today (that vegetarian meat substitute, for anyone not familiar with the brand name) and told us it was turkey. I was like "Why couldn't you have just told me it was Quorn? I'd have eaten it." Clearly she thinks I am a complete retard.

Also, the word 'Quorn'... is it just me, or is anyone else thinking it should be short for 'queer porn'? No? Just me then.

This is what you get when you Google 'Quorn = queer porn'. It amused me.

Ooh, AND... I'm starting my sort-of-a-job tomorrow. It's like, an inbetween before I get a more full-time job. My Mum's friend, her Dad needs a cleaner, so I'm gonna help out. Basically, he's not really got all his marbles, and I have to make sure he's remembered to eat, and do his laundry etc. Also, he like, refuses to throw anything away, so I have to do all that before he dies under a pile of old newspapers or something. But it's only like an hour and a half a day, so it's not really a proper job. Good pay though, considering how little time it is. I get like £10 an hour (which, for anyone not familiar with wages in the UK, is like twice minimum wage) so it's more per hour I'd be earning, but fewer hours than a full-time job, so less money overall. If you know what I mean.

Anyway, should be an adventure. Just me and batty old Bernard. And his cat.

He used to have two, but one got run over, and he's not really sure which one it was. So we just call it 'cat' :D 

That's about the closest I have to actual news today.

But I'm sure there's more random thoughts floating around in my brain.

I'll leave you with this one: In Harry Potter, do Witches wear bras? Cos, they're Muggle made (all the clasps and so on aren't very Wizardy at all) so you'd assume they wouldn't have them. Unless they were Muggle-born or half-blood. But like, Pure blood Witches, do they have a spell or something instead?

You'll be pleased to know that THESE are some of the pictures that come up when you Google "Do Witches wear bras?"

Lucy Hale, this is not a marvellous photo of you.... but fuck me, you are magnificent.

For all the excited Robsten lovers today. This came up too. But I fucking hate this photo. Everything about it is bad. They both look fucking stupid.

Thoughts on the bra matter (and any others discussed here) would be greatly appreciated :D

Fuckyou very much for reading my word-vomit. Eve x